When I first became a mother, homeschooling wasn’t even on my radar. Like many parents, I believed trained professionals would be better equipped to teach my children than I could ever be. I was firm in my conviction that I didn’t want to be “my child’s everything.” Then the world changed, and with it, my perspective on education transformed completely.
My oldest daughter, now almost 12, was diagnosed with autism at a young age. Even before the pandemic disrupted traditional education, I noticed she wasn’t thriving in a conventional classroom setting. She couldn’t sit still all day and follow instructions in the way schools demanded. She needed movement – lots of it – and her sensory needs meant traditional “girl clothes” were uncomfortable for her. The school system wasn’t designed for children like her, yet they expected her to conform nonetheless.
The breaking point came when my daughter was placed in a fifth-grade math class while functioning at a first or second-grade math level. The school claimed there wasn’t “enough room” in the remedial class for her, despite her having an IEP that legally entitled her to appropriate accommodations. I discovered heartbreaking notes on her schoolwork: “I am bad at math,” “I am not smart,” “Nobody talks to me.” The system was crushing her spirit rather than nurturing it.
What truly opened my eyes were the emerging trust issues I developed with the traditional education system. From concerns about medical decisions being made without parental consent to the handling of gender identity discussions with young children, I realized I could no longer blindly trust others with my child’s education and wellbeing. I needed to know what was happening in her world, and with her limited communication skills at the time, I couldn’t get that information from her.
The beauty of homeschooling a child with special needs is that I can meet her exactly where she is. When I realized she needed to master basic subtraction before moving forward, we took eight weeks to focus solely on that fundamental skill. We didn’t have to worry about keeping up with arbitrary grade-level expectations or feeling behind. We could take the time needed to build a solid foundation.
I’ve discovered that learning through play and real-life applications works wonders. Our “grocery cart math” adventures became favorite learning experiences, where my daughters would hunt for items under a dollar or compare quantities and volumes of different containers. We use dice games to make spelling practice enjoyable rather than tedious. Everything is approached through the lens of her interests and learning style.
For children on the autism spectrum, making education relevant to their interests is crucial. My daughter was obsessed with trains for two years, so we incorporated trains into every subject. Today’s technology makes this easier than ever – tools like ChatGPT can help create custom unit studies around any topic your child loves, incorporating all required subjects in ways that make sense to them.
The most powerful realization I’ve had is that no one is better equipped to teach my children than me. I know my daughter’s triggers, her learning style, her interests, and her potential better than anyone else. While only 6% of autistic children go on to live independently as adults, I refuse to accept that future for my daughter. By tailoring her education to her unique needs, I’m building the foundation for a more independent future.
Homeschooling isn’t always easy. It requires creativity, patience, and a willingness to try new approaches when things aren’t working. But watching my daughter grow in confidence and skills has been the most rewarding experience. In a traditional classroom, she was falling through the cracks. At home, she’s blossoming at her own pace.
If you’re considering homeschooling a child with special needs, remember that you already have the most important qualification: you know and love your child better than anyone else. The rest – the curriculum, the teaching techniques, the resources – you can learn along the way. Trust yourself, because no one is more invested in your child’s success than you are.